New Mayor of Rabbit Hash, KY is Lucy Lou


An estimated 215% of local registered and unregistered voters swarmed the polls here in Rabbit Hash, Kentucky for the 2008 Mayoral election. A highly contested race from the beginning, this race has not let up since it began on Old Timer’s Day, 2008. Ten dogs, one cat, one opossum, one jackass, and one human being vied for the ultimate position of political power in this small Ohio River community in Boone County, Kentucky.

It was a dog-eat-dog race. Only the morning of election day, the front runner was Travis the cat, holding a modest lead over two canine contenders. Travis showed a steady popularity the entire day, gaining the majority of the popular vote cast during the day.

After the presidential polls closed at 6:00 PM EST, the focus and the voters and the money relocated to Election Central in the Rabbit Hash barn. Food, fellowship, and good old American politics then prevailed for the next hour or so, and boy-oh-boy did things get heated.

Candidates were chasing each other around the barn while the humans on the other end of the leashes were cutting deals and lobbying the public. Bark-The-Vote was the order of the day as the characteristic idiosyncrasies of the Darwinian mix prevailed. Growls, yelps, nips and bites were rampant amongst the candidates. The human conceded early on. Some of the canines followed suit. It was a political battle unrivaled in American political history.

In the waning moments of the months-long ordeal, the great common denominator reared its ugly head and responded to the “last call”. Money flew like fur and the hair was rising the length of each and every spine. Even the dogs knew something was going on as they pulled on their leashes in an attempt to control their handlers.

The final tally was reported:
New Mayor of Rabbit Hash
Lucy Lou 8,085 votes
Runner-up Toby 4,596 votes
3rd Travis 3,721 votes
4th Higgins 2,229 votes
5th Macy 1,182 votes
6th Izzy 580 votes
7th Pike 557 votes
8th Rembrandt 494 votes
9th Noggin 184 votes
10th Molly 150 votes
11th Peggy Lee 73 votes
12th Cletus 54 votes
13th Manson 8 votes
14th Paulette 5 votes
15th Alex 2 votes
16th Ruby 1 vote

This reflects 100% of all precincts in Rabbit Hash. The results have been confirmed and are official.

— Rabbit Hash Historical Society

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